Monday, August 16, 2010

Ah Sweet Relief!

I just finished the First Assignment! All four stories have the first 5 chapters done! And the one that I found so hard to deal with is going really well. Assignment number 2 is to get the first 5 chapters into the computer, and then to map and write the next 5 chapters. But hey, I got the first one done! Yay!

And as soon as I can find some a decent enough excerpt, I'll post one on here!!!

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Diary of a Scribe Day 33: The End of the Road

Here it is. Day 33.

It's over.

Well, sort of. The next blog project starts tomorrow. You'll be able to find it here, at The Rehab Lounge Bar--it's around back:

So. I found out that I can be completely lazy at times(duh)and not quite motivated. That means I need to set some goals and some more guidelines to work towards. I think that one goal is going to involve Kickstarter, to try to raise money for my new creative business venture. And it seems that the "investors" get a little gift depending on their donation tier. I have no earthly idea what I have to give.

I've learned that if I have the desire, drive and determination that I can obtain the goals, and if I don't make a goal, why bother trying to obtain?

I also learned that I really like blogging. And distractions from the actual projects.

I started this project while working on others, and I hadn't found a lot of time or been inspired enough to pick up that pen and work on the first five chapters of that fourth story. I finished the assignment for the third story just as I started here. That project I still find easier to work on than the one I am currently on.

I got stuck at Chapter One. I got stuck at Chapter Two. Then I blogged a lot about nothing and I finished Chapter Two and have moved onto Chapter Three, and already have part of Chapter Four written.

It won't be long until I have this bit done, and then I will choose an excerpt from the pages I've worked on these 33 days and post that as a follow up.

Really, today has been all about clearing out some of the clutter and dust and getting some energy and getting things done. "With GaGa all things are possible."

So. It HAS been fun. And frustrating. And freeing. And constricting. And boring. And whatever.

So join me for my other misadventures. In addition to the link above that sends you to the Bar 'Round Back, there is a link to The Rehab Lounge and to The Rehab Lounge Kitchen .

I am also on xanga as "RomanticRealist12" , livejournal as imustwrite12 and WordPress as Gossipy Bitches.

And perhaps someday I'll give you the stories behind the names.

Thanks for sticking with me for these 33 days. I hope you'll stick around for more.


Monday, August 2, 2010

Diary of a Scribe Day 32

I finished Chapter Two of the fourth project. I am incredibly sleepy and I have a headache that I've had for days. It's pretty awesome, especially when I want to get to work on something that requires my eyes.

I cannot believe this project is nearing it's conclusion. I can't believe I've actually stuck with something. And that I'll be kickstarting the new series the day after tomorrow.It's gonna be about booze.

Do you have any ideas or suggestions about a series I could do? I mean, I have plenty of ideas, but I am open to anything you guys might have to say, because frankly, some of my ideas can be dull.

I really wish I could write a little more here, but this headache has got me. Tune in tomorrow...sometime...for the possibly exciting conclusion of "33 for 33: Diary of a Scribe."

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Diary of a Scribe Day 31

It's technically August 1st...Holy crap. It's August ALREADY?

Didn't get a darn thing done. I couldn't sleep the night before. I was up until after 6am. The sun was already pretty high when I made myself lie down in my bed... But I was wide awake all night. Not even a yawn while I was getting my Joshua Jackson fix during the first season of Fringe.

I wasn't the only one up all night. One of my friends, just a couple years older than me, and a bunch of her Facebook buddies were still up too. At first I thought it might have something to do with the Lunar Cycle, and the Full Moon that we had about a week ago, or even Jupiter in retrograde.


Hot flashes, insomnia and irritability. I am thirty three freaking years old. And I am going through early onset of menopause. Even as I type this at ten minutes until three in the morning with the a/c on, I am sweating.

I've seen this. I watched this happen to my mother when I was a kid. But she was in her 40s. I am the same age as she was when she was pregnant with me.

It's too early. I am terrified. I don't like change, and this is "THE Change." I just got over being hateful and mean for the better part of a decade and now I'm about to experience some ridiculous hormonal changes. Now that things are normal. Fantastic.

This also means my child bearing years are almost over. Sure, my luck could change and I could be a first time mom in my 40s, but I just don't see that happening. My mother was already too old when I was born, therefore no fun.

I asked for a tubal ligation for my 13th birthday. I had about 10 nieces and nephews living with or next door to me at that point, and guess who was the babysitter? So it's no wonder I wanted nothing to do with kids.

But then a few years ago my uterus starting talking. And wanting. And yearning.

There would be no way that I would be down for In Vitro or Artificial Insemination or any way but natural.

And therein lies the problem. No man, no sex, no baby. First off, I don't want a man. I want nothing to do with them. I've tortured myself for too long about finding that missing part of me. Whatever. I found that long ago and he decided to maintain radio silence. Well, whatever. I realized not too long ago that love and relationships and things of that nature aren't for me.

Don't scoff. Don't laugh. I'm deadly serious. Sure, it would be nice to have some companionship, or someone to catch mice...I COULD get a cat, but cats hate me... but I refuse to change for anyone. I am who I am, as everyone has told me for years. And the only way I could ever be in a relationship with anyone is to change. And I'm not going to.

Everyone always said that I needed to be ok with myself before anyone else would be ok with me.


I am so ok with myself that I am my own circle of friends. I go to all my movies alone, I have insomnia alone. I am the one who buys Chicken Noodle soup and Ginger Ale when I'm sick. I take care of myself. I have enough going on without adding another layer of crap to it. I had my chance in my 20s and now that chance is over.

I wasn't put on this Earth to be a half of a whole. I was put on this Earth to be whatever it is I am or am becoming.

That doesn't help me be less pissed off about these hot flashes though.