Thursday, July 22, 2010

Diary of a Scribe Day 20

Ok. It's Tuesday, the day of the show.

I woke up early enough to take down the rag rollers and got to work on time, caffeine in hand.

On the way to work I listened to WILD 104.9FM....they were Radio Gaga for the day...Bad Romance came on just as I got to work. I went in, got that radio turned on, did that choreography before calling the boss, and settled in.

Oh boy, was I anxious. And I was excited that this radio station went Gaga for the day. Until I heard that Eminem/Rihanna song once every hour until I got off work. Don't get me wrong, I'm an Eminem fan(not so much Rihanna, but she's not Ke$ha, so whatever). I like the song well enough(regardless of it's subject matter), but if you're going to promote "Gaga Radio," then you best be playing her music. Remixes, even. I didn't hear another song until 2pm, when i was leaving work to head to Rory's to get ready.

I didn't need to hurry there...He and Daphne had to run some errands, so no one was there when I arrived. So I just went inside, hung out with Louie and Holly(the dogs), and re-rolled my hair. And instead of putting Gaga on, I found me some Doctor Who on the dvr(am I obsessed with this show? Is LOST gone? Ok then).

I was getting antsy. We were supposed to leave his house at about 3pm so that we could go to the Limo place and drop off the booze for the night. Yes, I said Limo.

Well, that finally happened very close to 5pm. We had to drive from the Warr Acres/Bethany area all the way out to Midwest City off of 240 and Sooner.

Jesus H.

Traffic was a bitch. We almost turned around a couple of times.

We were SO freaking nervous. It felt like we were trying to get ready for a theatre production. He had the actor's butterflies, and so did I, which is odd, since I'm a Stage Manager by trade. As a Stage Manager, my nerves would come if I had ESPECIALLY important things to worry about, such as a major quick change or set change...But since I was sitting in traffic with my hair in rags, I had the actor's anxiety.

Anyway, we made it to the limo company, dropped off our stuff, and headed back up to the city to get ready. It took me about 15 minutes to take my hair down, dress, and figure out what I was doing with my hair and makeup....I had to get it done fast. We had to help Tinisha when she got there. I'm sure you can see why, from the "dress rehearsal" picture.

Our cabs had arrived but Tay was late...she was coming from work in Newcastle. We got her ass ready in record time and piled into the two cabs. There were 7 of, Tay, Daphne, Rory, Jeff, Chef Tony and Celisse. Our driver was pretty cool...It was a very New York experience(I assume, since I've never been). He had an accent and he drove like a bat out of Hell. But a nice bat.

We zoomed down the highway to the Ford Center, where we were NOT greeted by a ton of Little Monsters dressed for the ball. Actually, it seemed like WE were OVERdressed. Basketball shorts and Daisy Dukes as far as the eye could see, with some occasional awesomeness. The most awesome was Tay, of course. She was the ONLY "Beyonce" there. What the hell?

And of course, her skirt(her fabulous GLUE GUNNED skirt) tried to fall apart on our way in, so we crowded around her while Rory worked his magic And then, we were off.

A friend had mentioned that security at the Ford Center would be searching us for cameras...I passed this info on to my group before we left...they were a little sad, but Rory had his phone, so not all was lost. And I had a tiny little POS camera and one of those disposable cameras(dark ages anyone?) hidden inside my purse. Ahem. Hidden inside the LINING of my purse.

The pictures on the little camera did NOT come out. Most are non color and grainy. The ones WITH color were just blurs...kind of perfect, since that's how I felt.

I SO could've snuck Tay's camera soon as the guy saw all the maxi pads and tampons in my bag, they sent me on my way...Just inside the door my group ditched me-YES YOU BITCHES DITCHED ME--to head to their places. I had an actual seat, and they were on the floor. The plan was to find our places and then go have a drink, walk around, take pictures. But they ditched me, so I was alone.

I walked around, checked out the costumes, or lack thereof, and the merchandise, which was WAY pricey...And then kept my ass moving to the smoking lounge outside...I met Rodney and Scotty a couple of times, but didn't see anyone else I knew, even though I knew a ton of people who were going. It was actually kind of nice, but I have Social Anxiety Order in a BAD way, so I didn't really get involved...I didn't participate...I only observed.

After a bit I decided to go find my seat. From the 3D view on the Ford Center website, I knew I had a great view. I was NOT prepared for HOW great. My favorite seat in Mitchell Hall is at the VERY back of the auditorium, where I think they now have sound and lighting least, that's where it was during tech rehearsals. My second favorite seat in Mitchell Hall is the balcony. From these two Vantage Points, I could SEE EVERYTHING. I don't like having to bounce back and forth between SR and SL, I like to see the WHOLE picture.

That's what I got here. My seat was Stage Left and I was in the second section of seats. I was damn close. My preference would have been close enough to smell the fake blood, but I was pretty happy where my seat was. And it was early, so there was no one else in my row just yet. And since some crazy bitch was badly dancing on the stage to lame music, I decided to get up again(I found out later this was Gaga's buddy Lady Starlight...Um, I heard she was a DJ, but she did nothing but what Bakestar did for Grandma Sylvia's Funeral).

So more walking around, another cigarette and a bottleless bottle of water later, and Gaga's opening band Semi Precious Weapons started to play. I wasn't there for them, and I have problems with stairs in the dark, so I stayed outside for a bit, until I got tired of wandering around in shoes that were scraping my heels, carrying a huge, lidless cup of water around.

I went in and sat for a song or two and decided that I liked the band SO MUCH(the lead singer did an entire costume change on stage--think Spanx and nude body suit) that I got my ass back up and went to stand in the long ass line for some merchandise. I HAD to have the bright yellow tote bag that said, in black letters, "I Can't Pay My Rent, But I'm Fucking Gorgeous." There was a Gaga bag, too, but this one really called to me. After a bunch of picky dumbasses in line finally left, I got my bag,and tiny Gaga pins to go with my backstage psss-looking thing.

At that point, I needed another cigarette. I figured I had plenty of time, since concerts never start on time.

Yeah, guess what? SHE started on time. I wasn't but a few seconds late, but that might have something to do with my show amnesia.

This is NOT where the review goes. That is the next post I will make. I have notes and links and stuff that I need to organize before I do here's the continuation of the evening AFTER the show:

I had to haul my ass ALL THE WAY AROUND the Ford Center to find my group in the throng of people. On our way to the limo people kept stopping us to take pictures with Tinisha(once again, you see why. She also had a long, red Bettie Page-style wig like the one Beyonce wore in the "Telephone" video). And then, it was Limo time, with Mojitos and Lemonade Martinis.

We headed to The Copa. Dude, I was too old for that place 5 years ago, and yet we still keep going...that was our last visit, I'm sure. That's just not our place anymore, but we figured if the Lady was going to go out and sign some stuff, that would be the place. So we waited our asses in that long line to get in. The music SUCKED. The only Gaga they played was for their lame ass Gaga look alike contest, and some in the underwear contest(The Big Guy won!) My LIT was HORRIBLE, too.

But I DID get a birthday lap dance from a cute little gay in a mohawk who commented on my roots and Daphne and I got hit on by a weird little Mexican guy named "Twinkie." I was so not interested I couldn't even use my fun flirting technique("Oh, as in cream filled?". It didn't help that he told us that he'd been shut down by 4 lesbians...hello? Gay club?

We got the hell out of there, found the limo, popped some champagne open and headed to Circle J's for some 24 hour BBQ, and then back to Rory's to end the night talking with Michael Dalke about...things. I went to sleep close to 6 and woke up at noon on Wednesday.

I couldn't remember a thing.

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